Feeding People: I Came. I Saw. I Left a Review.

The year is 2019. Probably. Time loses its meaning rather quickly in university. One minute you’re dragging your sorry carcass across campus for the rite of passage that is the eight am three-hour lecture, and the next you’re blinking awake in the library with a laptop covered in gibberish from passing out on the keyboard for a few hours.

by Taylor Haugen

In my case, after overcoming the daily gauntlet of staying conscious long enough to remember that I’m meant to be a functional person, my stomach decided to loudly and embarrassingly announce that it was being neglected. The only form of sustenance I had in the dorm was half a bell pepper and cheese of unknown origin and age, so I headed into the concrete jungle to satiate the howling beast in my gut.

For broke students, downtown Edmonton is the best place to find both the greasiest and the cheapest food you will ever eat in your life. On that particular day I wasn’t interested in the suspiciously affordable menu that Denny’s had to offer, my usual haunt when times are desperate. Instead, I shambled a couple blocks down the street until fell upon Marco’s Famous. Famous what, you might ask. Everything, if I were to hazard a guess.

It looked different and slightly less fast-food than McDonald’s, so I figured it was worth a shot. And then I saw something truly beautiful—a sign in the window offering a fifteen per cent discount for students. I ordered. Then I hoovered a gyro and onion rings, feeling satisfied with the three dollars and change that I had saved on the meal.

As I left Marco’s I thought about how other students might find it useful to have a place to turn to after class when looking for a pick-me-up that is the right amount of greasy and affordable. I looked them up on Google and left a review, mentioning the student discount.

A little while later I checked my review. There was a response from the owner, thanking me for my visit and kind words.

Now I make a habit of leaving Google reviews whenever I visit a business. I have left reviews for hair studios, restaurants, fast-food chains, even bus stations, and now I’m in the top twenty per cent of Google reviewers (probably just in the Edmonton area). An idle curiosity has become a little side hobby.

I think it’s important that people leave reviews because it is a little like leaving your mark on the wall saying, ‘I was here.’ I was here, I tried the onion rings and they were delicious. I was here, the staff are all kind, and everyone deserves a raise. I was here, I got the best haircut, and the owner is incredibly sweet. I was here and the fish tacos gave me food poisoning, please be advised.

The power of the review cannot be understated, especially when it can be the difference between whether people spend their money at a business or not. You support the mom and pop shops that have been making their recipes with love and care since the dawn of time, the online crafters run by single parents trying to support their families, the young entrepreneur that wants to share their passion with the professional world.

Plus, reviews are fun to write, and even more fun to read when it’s clear that someone is being a Karen and the owner shows up to set the record straight. I like the long-winded reviews that you know come from the heart, whether it be malice or genuinely good intent, because no one spends that much time writing out a mile-long paragraph without being at the very least passionate about what they’re saying. Whether that passion is being used for evil is up to the writer.

I love to review, to know I’ve done something that’s tangible in some way, even if it’s just to warn hungry teenagers away from the McDonald’s on the west side near WEM because it smells like a septic tank erupted in the building. An everyday superhero.

Tomato intern Taylor Haugen is a fresh graduate of MacEwan University. When she isn’t out Google reviewing, she’s writing fiction, while listening to D&D podcasts and watching video essays on BBC’s Sherlock—all at the same time.